Author Archives: Will

How Stupid is the Mass Media?

Check out the headline on this article: CNN Poll: Still no front-runner in the battle for the GOP nomination. Of course not, you stupid shit. They just started campaigning. It’s a [expletive and a half] horse race. Did you see … Continue reading

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On the Julep

A dram of spirituous liquor that has mint steeped in it, taken by Virginians of a morning. The Mint Julep is rumored to have led to as many arguments over the nature of the drink as the Martini, if not … Continue reading

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Dear Amtrak: Learn How to Price Your Service

Apparently you neglected to read my last letter, but with the fast approach of National Train Day and the increase in oil prices making your services slightly more competitive, I thought it might be helpful to bring up the topic … Continue reading

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Dark and Stormy

First you should know that I am not from Bermuda. And while I once visited on a cruise, I drank only beer while I was there, so have no first-hand confirmation that the Dark and Stormy is, in fact, Bermuda‘s … Continue reading

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Naval Stores

Until Firefox gets the hang of tracking paths through the browser history, I can’t quite say exactly who started this idea in motion, but I can say what did: an article on using one’s discarded Christmas tree in various dishes, … Continue reading

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Uisge-beatha

To make Irish Usquebaugh; from Lord Capell‘s Receipt, when he was Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. To every Gallon of French-Brandy, put one Ounce of Liquorice sliced, one Ounce of sweet Fennel-Seeds, one Ounce of Anniseeds, one Pound of Raisins of … Continue reading

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On the Matter of the National Popular Vote

I’m on Mrs. Clinton’s e-mail list because I haven’t unsubscribed yet. Today, the list sent me an e-mail about bills currently in the New York legislature to change how the State allocates its Electors. The bills under consideration in New … Continue reading

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Whose Benefit?

The medical benefit plan I have requires payment of a certain sum before it begins paying a high percentage of the cost of prescriptions. This sum is called the deductible; it’s a sum uncovered by the insurance, deducted from the … Continue reading

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Bloody Mary is the … Girl I Love

Happy 3rd Birthday, No. 2 Son! Soon we’ll have the family over for a party in your honor, and they’ll be drinking some stuff you can’t, yet. It must be my upbringing, but when I think of the Bloody Mary, … Continue reading

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Spirits of Any Kind

Now that I have more than two bitters in the house, let us try something. A cocktail is spirits of any kind, sugar, water, and bitters. How about an Old-Fashioned with gin? Gin, the Old-Fashioned Way cube of sugar splash … Continue reading

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What Fashion of Gimlet Might This Be?

Having acquired an essential ingredient in the Deadrise, I find myself without another: the cucumber. Well, there’s nothing to it then but to make the necessary sacrifice and drink the result anyway. Oh, this is good. This is very good. … Continue reading

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Harvest Punch

We typically host Christmas Day dinner at our house, after my brother-in-law and his wife host the Feast of the Seven Fishes at his. Christmas Day is a more subdued affair, with fewer guests, and more flexibility in the menu. … Continue reading

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Egg Nog

Mr. Boston’s Official Bartender’s and Party Guide (64th Edition) (Warner Books, 1994) has this to say on the subject of egg nog. Eggnog can be made from scratch, but since those recipes use raw eggs, which may carry the risk … Continue reading

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When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Drink Cocktails

J. T. Dobbs at American Drink asks, Is it a coincidence that on the heels of one of the worst economic crises since The Depression, artisan cocktails began making a huge comeback? Actually, no, it’s not. It’s typical. In The … Continue reading

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One Day Spam Will Once Again Be Just a Luncheon Meat

Dear Spammer: You’re wasting your time, but not mine. All posts here that Akismet thinks are spam are automatically deleted. Fuck you, and the horse you rode in on. Best Regards,

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A Martini

The Martini that most folks know, if they order a Martini in a bar, is between six and nine ounces of chilled vodka or gin, perhaps with the glass washed with vermouth. (Great! Three drinks for the price of one!) … Continue reading

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Deadrise

Over the summer Legal Sea Foods offered a cocktail they call the Deadrise. Huh? What’s a deadrise? A fishy kind of zombie? Nope. The deadrise is the angle between the bottom of a vessel and the horizontal in the transverse … Continue reading

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The Cosmopolitan

Girlfriend, I present for your classy enjoyment the Cosmopolitan. Or, rather, a variation thereof since I don’t stock citrus vodka. The Cosmopolitan 1 1/2 oz. vodka 1 oz. triple sec 1/2 oz. fresh lime juice 1/4 oz. cranberry juice 1 … Continue reading

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On Plagiarism and Linkage

I’m disturbed by what seems to be the very common practices on today’s Internet of copying another’s work without acknowledging the source, of quotations without attribution, and of quotations pretending to be one’s original work. I suppose this could be, … Continue reading

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Honey Lime Toddy

We are fresh out of lemons, so I made a hot toddy this afternoon using my standard recipe but substituting lime for the lemon. Honey Lime Toddy 1 oz. honey 1 oz. lime juice 1 oz. bourbon 6 oz. boiling … Continue reading

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